Massage is one of the best ways to get rid of redundant tensions in the body, improve the circulation of the blood and spread healing good-vibe energies all throughout the body. In the case of tantric massage, there’s the added benefit of sensually turning on your and your lover’s passion! Massage can be a great way to help couples or “friends with benefits” showcase that extra needed intimacy to each other.
We as social beings, by nature, long for physical touch, and massage is a easy and natural way to fulfill this need.
Sounds good, right?
So how to start?
Well, getting a super special certificate or even proper training to perform tantric massage isn’t really necessary, although what is necessary is the intention and yearning to genuinely satisfy the recipient i.e. your partner through the intricate capacities of your body (mostly hands).
What is Tantric Massage?
Before we begin with the techniques, let’s go through what tantric massage is, how it differs from other types of massages and some of the main benefits associated with it. Tantric massage as we know it today was developed from many different sources, mainly the combination of tantric philosophy with influences from influential western thinkers.
The defining features of tantric massage are:
- Tantric massage focuses on the potential and usage of your sensual and passionate energy so that it benefits you instead of limiting you.
- The removal of blockages in many different dimensions of your consciousness, body, mind and spirit.
- The boosting or heightening of sensual and orgasmic experiences.
- Clothes are not worn during the massage, so the private parts are in most cases exposed.
- Spiritual awakening is the true and ultimate goal of tantra and therefore of tantric massage.
The Benefits of Tantric Massage
Like all types of massage, the tantric way has many inherent benefits to it plus an additional two or three extras which makes tantra a little bit more special and niche.
Now some of the many inherent benefits of massage are:
- Increased wellbeing
- Improved mood
- Improved health and immunity
- Relief from pain, anxiety and stress
Some exclusive benefits that is especially related to tantric massage are:
- Improved libido and sex-drive
- More intense sensual experiences
- Higher spiritual awareness (if done correctly)
With that said, here are some tips and techniques outlined to help you get started with tantric massage.
Preparation for the Massage
For someone who hasn’t experienced it before the idea of tantric massage is oftentimes intriguing, and in some cases, straight out intimidating. Some would go as far as to regard it as taboo, which is quite an unfortunate thing and shows how we’re formed by our culture’s conditioning.
On the other hand, people who are familiar tantric massage it find to be a unique, exciting a effective practice that can do wonders for one and ones partners overall wellbeing. Since many people do not understand what tantric massage is and how it works they don’t even consider it as an option to incorporate into their lives.
If you have low self-esteem or just too conscious about yourself, tantric massage can teach you how to appreciate, love and enjoy yourself more. It can also be helpful in boosting your partner’s confidence as you enjoy being near him or her and helping them feel accepted and loved for who and what they are.
To get started, here are some preparations you should do before starting up the tantric process:
Get Your Space Ready
Prepare the bedroom or any area you want to use, may it be a living room or anywhere private, with many soft pillows and comfortable bedding. Light up several candles and for extra ambiance let them be slightly scented, and place them sprinkled around the room. Make sure that they are securely away from things that are flammable. Moreover keep your lamps and lighting totally shut or on the dimmest adjustable level.
Pour some drinking water or red wine in a clear glass within reach so that it will be convenient and enjoyable for you. You might even want to place some light snacks in order to keep or boost the energy up. We recommend something like grapes, raspberries, strawberries or chocolate.
If you want for the room smell good, you may want to use an essential oil diffuser with a fresh soothing scent or simply use scented candles as mentioned above.
Prepare Yourself Physically, Mentally, And Spiritually
Before you start, allow yourself to open up your heart and your mind. If something in particular causes you discomfort or anxiety, it is generally best to avoid or skip that, however that being said it can also be a good idea to work through some of the things that leads you to this feeling. The most common discomfort one experiences are often due to insecurity and detrimental self-consciousness about certain features of his or her body.
Before the session starts, you may want to take a bath or shower, doing it together would be better, but avoid sex or any intimate sensual interaction during that time. This helps build up the energy but also allows you to cultivate control of your carnal desires to satisfy them in a more apt time, delayed gratification if you will.
Wear comfortable clothes. Make sure that the underwear, shorts, lingerie, and your shirt are breathable and loose enough for easy removal later on. However, doing the massage without wearing anything is a viable option too. But since tantra is about a slow accumulation of sensual energy, it is usually a good idea to get started with your clothes on.
Initiate The Process By Building Sensual Energy Slowly
After doing some light stretching and taking a shower, sit down (on a shower bench if you’ve got one) facing each other and be comfortable. You might want to sit cross-legged, or place your legs over each other in order for the energy from the erogenous areas gets closed to each other.
Stare at each other for at least 3 minutes — it is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and this applies very well to this situation. You may find it uncomfortable at first, but carry on to stare at each other’s eyes as long as you deem appropriate. The moment you feel all the tensions withering away, a real connection has been built. That’s the goal. That’s the exact sense of connection that you need in order to reveal in tantric sex. Try to make it a habit to keep eye contact whenever possible during the practice.
Starting the Tantric Massage
Here are a couple of simple massage methods that are beginner friendly that you can perform straight of the bat.
Start with your Backside
About two tablespoons of oil have to be enough to get started. Smear the oil all over your hands first and then start rubbing your hands to make your palm warm. Then put your hands on the lower back of your lover and allow your hands to slither up the back of your love throughout the neck, all over the shoulders and back, all over the buttocks area.
The Hand Slide
Now that you have got the oil on the back of your lover, start sliding your fingers down the spine, massaging throughout to the lower back and over the buttocks. Move up to the neck, then on the shoulders, and then the arms and the fingertips. Repeat it at least five times. As you perform this, communicate with your love and ask what if feels like or any feedback. If your lover is the type that doesn’t talk a lot, you don’t have to force him or her. Keep in mind that, it is all about giving your partner a sense of wellbeing and relaxation.
For a change, try changing one hand after another as you pull up and rub the side of your lover’s body. Begin by putting both of your hands on his or her hips and then softly pull up to the spine.
Move your hands over the waist and pull up to the spine. Then place your hands on the side of the breast and go back to the spine. Place your hands just below the armpits and pull up to the spine. Make sure you do both sides.
If you bake, then this method would be a piece of cake (no pun intended.) However, if you have not, you can simply squeeze your lover’s back and back sides between your thumb and other fingers in a sinuous motion using one hand, and then the other. Next, glide your hands to another part on the back and do the same process over and over until your partner has been well-kneaded starting from the neck down to the buttocks. The body’s fleshy parts such as the buttocks could bear more pressure, so, don’t worry about squeezing it a bit harder and slightly spread the cheeks while kneading. This will surely make your partner excited.
Before moving onto the thighs, stroke the neck, arms, shoulders, back, and buttocks of your partner using your fingertips in an extremely light stroke. Do it for about five minutes. If your fingernails are long, scratch your partner’s skin lightly. You are able to do this in circular motions, from side to the other. Allow for your light, prickly touches, and strokes make sensual eagerness for your lover as he wouldn’t guess which part of his or her body you are going to touch next.
You will perhaps need more oil on this. Add more oil on your hand, rub your hands together, and put more on your partner’s body. Now, start the hand slide method on the thigh as well as the calf moving slowly. Start doing the kneading stroke again, followed by softer one. Do single leg at a time. It is worth noting that the feet are a great erogenous zone, so you have to put a considerable attention to it! Put more oil on each foot, rubbing it all over the ankle, then the heel, and in the middle of the toes. With your palms, slide on the bottom of the foot of your partner back and forth a couple of times. Rotate your partner’s toes clockwise and then counter-clockwise and lastly, glide your forefinger between every toe. Softly pull every toe away from his or her body.
Turn your Lover Over
By this time, your partner is surely pleasured of what you just did on his or her back. Now, carry on by focusing on your partner’s frontal area. Again, put more oil in your hands and then smear it on your lover’s belly button, gradually sliding them up the core of his or her stomach and all over their nipples, then down to your partner’s belly button. Do it over and over because your partner will love it and it spread energy onto his or her body. If your lover is a female, make sure to be careful when you are already on her breast. Male can bear strokes that are firmer. Actually, you can do kneading on the male’s chest.
Different Tantric/Yoga Positions
When you are finally ready to get to the next level, there are simple tantric massage positions that are perfect for beginners. Depending on your flexibility level, you are able to modify the poses based on your liking and comfort. The most important thing is to concentrate on the connection and the time you spend with your partner and enjoy the presence of each other. Hopefully, you’ll experience a better bond within a calm state. Begin at your comfortable level, communicate your various levels of flexibility and strength, and most importantly, practice lengthy eye to eye contact, feeling the touch of each and positive thoughts about each other without saying a single word.
Below are some tantric poses you can try with your partner:
1. Yab Yum
This pose is beneficial in aligning energy between couples. One partner sits cross-legged on a mat comfortably. Then, the other partner sits over the thighs of the other and cross his or her ankles at the back of the partner. Make use of your abdominal and lower back muscles in order to keep straight and aligned with one another. Make your touched and breathe intensely and slowly consistently. You can do this pose either your eyes are closed or open.
In performing this pose, I’d recommend for you to move through these three steps to develop a safe space and to reassure energetic affection to form slowly. Every “sit” has to be 20 minutes long. Don’t forget to set a timer, so you don’t have to worry about the time while doing the process.
Step 1: Both of you and your partners must sit in Easy Pose facing one another with knees lightly touching. Put your hands on the knees of each other. Stare into each other’s eyes without paying attention to anything in the room. Slow down your breathing pattern until your breaths synchronize. Inaudibly negotiate a breathing rhythm that you know is comfortable for both of you.
Step 2: You and your partner open up your legs. The woman must sit as close as possible to her partner, wrapping her legs around his and over his lower back. Put your hands on each other’s waist or shoulders. Placing your hands on each other’s heart would be an option too. Like on the first step, it’s also important to watch your breathing pattern.
Step 3: The final position of this pose is the classic position shows on the image above. The woman sits entirely on the lap of her partner. Start facing each other with foreheads touching and arms comfortably around each other. At this point you should still be staring at each other’s eyes; the eye contact slowly turns into increased physical touch, as you concentrate on the breathing.
Notice the quality of the energy now. What does it feel like? Where in your body do you feel it? Let it move freely. Let your bodies embrace fully. At this time, the feminine energy of the woman, as well as her creative life force and kundalini, are all developing.
2. Boat Pose
In this pose, you will use your core muscles significantly. This is a good pose for stretching and strengthening. This is also a yoga pose that when done alone and incorrectly, it may give you lower back pain because if you do not already have the abdominal strength, the muscles at your lower back will try to keep you in good balance, but this risk is lower when done with a partner. Furthermore, you are able to modify it depending on your comfort and flexibility.
Step 1: Sit on the floor facing each other with your legs out in your front, and your knees bent a little.
Step 2: With your bent knees, move onward until and put the soles of your feet at the feet of your partner and reach each other’s hands. Lean your back and thrust your feet against your partners.
Step 3: Gently unbend your legs, but at the same time, keeping your feet touching.
Step 4: In order to deepen the connection, bend your knees once again slowly, keeping your sole at its position, and then move your legs separately on both sides of. Uncurl your knees once more with your legs out of your arms.
3. Downward Dog
Now if the boat pose is not for you because you think you are not flexible enough, this one is an easier pose, which is perfect for beginners. This is one of many couples’ top favorite. You will feel good arching your spine and stretching through your abs and chest at the same time as your partner. Because it involves balancing, getting in position can be a challenge, but it’s easy to get it mastered.
Here is how you do it:
Step 1: Both of you begin in a tabletop position; one ahead of the other. Walk back to that position about 5 to 6 inches, tucking toes below, so your feet’s balls are not touching the floor.
Step 2: As you exhale, lift your sit bones upward and carry the body into a descending V shape, so you both be in a classic downward-facing dog position.
Step 3: Walk slowly on your feet and hands back until it’s easy for you to walk your feet to the outside of their lower back. Stop when you find the hips, and you can stay on the position gently.
Step 4: Communicate as your feet do the transitions in order to make sure they are not hurting and for you to keep your connection.
Step 5: Stay in that position for 5 to 7 breaths, then your partner must slowly bend his or her knees, lowering the hips until reaching tabletop position and then child’s pose as you gently release feet to the ground. You can do it again swapping places.
This is a simple inversion that carries length in your spine. It is also great in improving communication and intimacy.
4. Seated Twist
This is a tantric massage pose where both of you have to sit cross-legged, facing one another. Spinal twists pose is known to be a really relaxing pose when done alone, but when performed with your partner, this pose could not just improve your wicked spines and sooth your overall feeling, but also can fire up intimacy.
This is how you can perform this tantric massage pose:
Step 1: Sit in a calmly seated position facing each other, your knees should touch each other.
Step 2: Sit up straight with your body a little forward, shoulders relaxed and chin pointed a little down.
Step 3: Put your left arm at your back and lengthen your other arm out. Make your partner do the same thing.
Step 4: Reach for the left hand of your partner using your right hand while you offer your left hand to the right hand of your partner. This position will twist your body which is your goal.
Step 5: Slowly twist your body for as much as you want, but make sure you both still comfortable. Keep in continuous communication throughout the process.
Step 6: Stay in this position for at least two minutes and then switch sides.
5. Forearm Stand
Forearm Stand benefits the shoulders, core, arms as well as the back, and stretches the shoulders and chest. This tantric pose also strengthens and invigorates the body, improves proprioception and balance, and develops overall blood circulation. It’s a great pose to practice balance and focuses on trusting your partner.
This pose is a great practice done alone, but better when done with a partner; here is how you do it.
Step 1: Do a flanking position on the floor and kick back in the air and get your partner hold your ankles when they go high enough that your body goes into vertical position.
Step 2: when your partner have both of ankles, and you finally feel stable, ask them to put one of their fists in between of your ankles. Ask your partner to let go slowly and you must be able to stay fluctuating if you keep the hug of your inner thighs by enfolding his or her wrist.
In order to release, ask your partner to hold onto your hips, in order for you to hinge from the hips going down.
Tantric massage can be an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling experience. Not only physically and mentally but also spiritually. In fact the spiritual aspect is probably the most important one. If you are interested in other massaging techniques and the actual benefits that can be derived from massage feel free to read those articles as well!