Do you feel overwhelmingly self-conscious or shy? Do you constantly worry about what others are thinking of you? If you answered yes to either of those questions, you may be lacking self-confidence.
Now it is important to know that genuine self-confidence is not an over attempt to show others how much you don’t care, that is at best the superficial look of it. Rather, confidence is more the effortless projection of comfortability that flows from you when you are relaxed, present, and being yourself. It is just what naturally happens when you love and accept yourself.
The former boastful attempt to convince others you are happy with yourself, requires way more effort and often results from a lack of mindful self-knowledge and self-comfortability.
In fact, this way of “acting about” can result in anxiety and depression, which will end up taking over your life if you do not take control or transcend these somewhat strange tendencies. That being said, a lack of self-confidence is often the result of a few things which we have learnt and been conditioned into during our upbringing, things which keeps us from living our lives to the utmost.
Here below I will explain how you can use your time, energy and wisdom to build a natural confidence so you can feel better in your own skin!
1) Remain Present
First, remain in the present. Do your best not to stress. Try relaxation or breathing techniques when you begin to feel a stressful tug. Then, notice all that is around you. Do not go into your thoughts. Just look and notice, engaging all your senses to indulge your experience. Whatever is happening, let it. This is also known as mindfulness. Mindfulness is simply the act of being aware. You may think you are always aware, but the truth is our minds are constantly buzzing with distracting thoughts, and eventually we lose touch with ourselves, the sense of presence, our emotions, and even our bodies. Mindfulness is a practice that you can get better at through relaxation and yoga techniques. If you would like to learn more about mindfulness and its benefits.
2) Accept Yourself
Welcome your emotions and embrace them. Whatever you are feeling, feel it deeply. Allow these feelings to come and take notice of where you are feeling them. If you want, you can consciously name the emotion to make better sense of it. From there you can start investigating the emotion more clearly. Never let the emotion control you. Simply use it as a means of understanding and allow it to help you feel secure.
When you understand and accept your emotions, they do not have the power to control you. You will be free from emotional bondage that could otherwise result in depression or anxiety.
3) Be Kind to Yourself
Be kind to yourself. Resting in who you are boldly requires acceptance from the toughest critic you will meet: you. While we must assess ourselves in order to improve, harsh criticism not only leaves us feeling stripped of our worth, but also leaves us vulnerable to stress, low self-esteem, depression, guilt and shame.
These things are like knives to our confidence.
4) Start Meditating
Meditate. Meditation increases your relaxation. You will begin to feel peace, calmness, and a sense of well-being. As you move farther away from your physical body you will begin to pay more attention to your thoughts. Be aware of these thoughts as they can be the reason for your very lack of self-confidence! As mentioned above, you are your toughest critic. When you meditate, keep aware of your sense of presence and focus more on your intuitive sensitivity, rather on your chatty mind.
5) Know Thyself
Learn who you are. If you want to exert confidence naturally, you have to know who you are. This is a never-ending process. Meditation and mindfulness both help here and actually are, from a spiritual perspective, an integral part of learning about yourself.
Meditation and mindfulness are ways to quiet the mind and focus on the heart and body. Focus on what makes you, you. Learn the working of your mind, understand your identity and get a whiff of what constitutes your values.
In other words, understand how you feel, what you want, and what is stopping you from feeling confident naturally. Also, this means know your limits. Know what you can’t do as this will help you know what you can do and to be able to do it with confidence. Perhaps in life, you take on more than you can handle, and you do it often. Learning more about yourself will help you only take on the things you know you are capable of to reduce stress and anxious feelings.
6) Find Your Inspiration
Find inspiration. The world is a beautiful place if you look at it from a right perspective. Allow it to inspire you to be the best you can be. In order to be the best you have to believe you are the best. You need confidence for that. Realize that other people are just that, people. They are not super humans or super beings. They have capabilities and limitations much like you do. Use this as inspiration to go whole heartedly forward with confidence.
7) Get Going
Get moving. Not like exercise, but rather go out into the world and DO. Often times we are limited before we even begin because we spend too much time worrying about how to get it all right. Don’t do that. Just go out there and do whatever it is you want to do.
Get in touch with the inner you that you spent so much time learning about and understanding. Your confidence will build as you take challenges. Whether you succeed or fail, you will notice a positive boost in your confidence simply because you had the courage to believe in yourself to take the first step.
Overcoming and Going Beyond
A lack of self-confidence is nothing more than a limiting of your capabilities and your perception. It is nothing more than false beliefs about yourself that hinder you from using your full potential. Go beyond these thoughts, deep down to the very essence of your being. Overcome the things that make you feel as though you are not good enough or that you need to be something different.
We all have the ability to be naturally confident. However, life events have pushed us down, given us anxieties, depressions and stressors. Using these meditative tips and your own intuition, you will be able to build your confidence naturally, just by being yourself, understanding who you are, and being brave enough to take chances that will push you out of your comfort zone.
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